#fmab fanfiction | manias-wordcount (2024)

๐—”/๐—ก: ๐—ถ ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐˜† ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ด๐—ผ๐˜๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐—ฎ ๐—น๐—ถ๐˜๐˜๐—น๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ผ๐—ผ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐˜€ (๐—ถ๐—บ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฟ๐˜† ๐—ถ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฏ๐—ผ๐˜† ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฐ๐˜‚๐˜๐—ฒ ๐—ด๐—ถ๐—ฟ๐—น๐—ณ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ด๐—ต๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐˜). ๐—ฎ๐—น๐˜€๐—ผ ๐˜…๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ฏ๐—ถ๐—ฎ/๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—บ/๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป(๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฑ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ต๐˜ƒ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐˜€ ๐—ถ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜ƒ๐—ผ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜†) ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐˜‚๐˜€๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐˜๐˜‚๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜

๐™’๐™–๐™ฃ๐™ฉ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ง๐™š๐™–๐™™ ๐™ข๐™ค๐™ง๐™š? โ‡’๐™ˆ๐™–๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ง๐™ก๐™ž๐™จ๐™ฉ

GIF by ser-lux

You always thought that being in his arms was the safest place in the world. Especially with eyes like yours.

He was never afraid to hold you tight and hold you close. Never afraid to be the one to grab your hand and to pull you to his side- even to the annoyance of his boss and all the other officers above him. His touch could be the perfect blend of warm on a cold day and cold on a hot day. Heโ€™s strong and heโ€™s smart and heโ€™s kind to you. He protects you from the stares of eyes that wander too far. He defends you from the words that you never deserved to hear. He sees you for more than just the color of your eyes and the shade of your skin. So much more.

And heโ€™s all you could ever want. So you always felt like you could sleep the most soundly when he has you tucked into bed and curled up right beside him as you both slept. You always felt like you could smile more easily when he was there, escorting you from place to place- and no taking sh*t from no one who makes fun of the great Fullmetal Alchemist and hislittlegirlfriend.

But right now, your feelings canโ€™t help but change. In some ways, you still feel that being in his arms is the safest place in the world. But right now?

You canโ€™t help but feel like itโ€™s the saddest place in the world too.

โ€œEdโ€ฆโ€

This corner of the library is particularly quiet. Itโ€™s always been secluded from the occasional person dropping by for a quick read. Thatโ€™s why the two of you like it so much. Thatโ€™s why this spot makes you sohappy. He could spend hours here. Combing over book after book while adding pages upon pages into his research journal. And you could spend hours here too. Sitting sideways on his lap and drifting in and out of sleep with your face in his neck. In between your naps, you feel his right hand slip just underneath your shirt, drawing small circles into your skin with metal fingers just barely covered by his gloves. In between the words he writes and the words he reads, you wrap your arms around his neck press kisses to his cheek, and bask in the butterflies that float around your stomach as he smiles back in response. Enjoying the company the two of you bring to each other. Enjoy the little moments of peace between the storms.

But sometimes you have to face the storm before you can go through it.

โ€œEd,โ€ You whisper again when you find that heโ€™s too engrossed in his book to hear you. Just a low, low sound that barely drifts beyond where the two of you are seated. You make careful work not to be disruptive to him or anyone else who could be lurking around the two of you. But the more you sit here, the more you think and think and think. And as much as you tried not to dwell on it, you couldnโ€™t help but let your mind slip. These hours together are long, but you enjoy them the best you can. But sometimes, even thatโ€™s not enough. โ€œEdward.โ€

At the sound of his full name being whispered into his ear, he twitches. The hand he has resting across your waist adjusts itself before grabbing a fistful of your shirtโ€™s material and squeezing. Itโ€™s a playful touch. The type of PDA heโ€™s not afraid to show off in front of everyone despite your growing embarrassment. But this time, you canโ€™t focus on the flustered feeling and the heat growing in your cheeks. You canโ€™t think about it all.

โ€œShh,Iโ€™m almost done for the day.โ€ He tells you with a whisper, gently placing his pen down in his notebook as he finishes the sentence he was currently writing. For a second, his eyes slide over to your face as he turns and faces you. But the kind smile he was going to offer to you disappears within the second he notices the look on your face. โ€œWhatโ€™s wrong? Did you see something? Was someone there? Did someone scare you?โ€

He fires off his questions at rapid speed, the concern now lacing his voice as his brows furrow and his eyes darken. The arm around your waist squeezes you to his chest just a little tighter than before. And while youโ€™re more than appreciative of your boyfriendโ€™s protectiveness towards you, you make sure to circle your arms around his shoulders and shake your head in response to all that heโ€™s asking you.

โ€œAre you sure?โ€ He asks you, voice just louder than a whisper. His voice, despite the soft lilt it takes to be comforting for you, holds a well of seriousness that shows off just how concerned he is for your well-being. Still, you shake your head no again and try wiping off the apparently very evident frown on your face for his sake. Though instead of a reassuring smile, the look gets replaced with a pout that you just canโ€™t seem to shake off, no matter how hard you try. Noticing your frustration, Ed's concern for you only grows. In an instant, heโ€™s wrapping both arms around you and turning your body ever so slightly so you can look him directly in the eye as he talks to you. โ€œAre you tired? Do you need Al to walk you home? I can go find him right now if you would like?โ€

โ€œNo, Ed thatโ€™s notโ€ฆโ€ You start to say but then your voice stops. Almost as if it couldnโ€™t bare the words you were about to say. Almost as if you hadnโ€™t said it ten times before. Still, it doesnโ€™t make things any easier. You take a deep breath, trying to collect your thoughts but nothing comes out. Nothing works. Nothing sounds right. Nothing helps. Nothing at all. But the hands resting on your sides are encouraging as they give you tiny squeeze after squeeze, urging you to use more of your words. You owe that to him, at the very least. You owe it to him to communicate and not mope around. Wishing and wishing things could be so much different than they are. โ€œIโ€ฆโ€

And knowing that youโ€™re getting exactly what you signed up for when you said yes to that first date the youngest State Alchemist ever asked you out on.

โ€œYouโ€™re leaving again, arenโ€™t you Ed.โ€

You arenโ€™t supposed to know. You arenโ€™t supposed to know a lot of things but your Edโ€™s and he doesnโ€™t mind sharing with you despite the harsh words from all his comrades that see you as nothing but an enemy- present, past, and future. You arenโ€™t supposed to know a lot of things, but judging from his reaction hereallydidnโ€™t want you to know this one thing. At least not right now.

And you know this easily. You know this because the hands on your waist begin to squeeze. Harder than he usually squeezes. As if he doesnโ€™t remember his own strength. Yet he still manages to stop all on his own. Right before the feeling of hurt starts to bubble up from the depths. But thatโ€™s the thing about Ed. He never tries to hurt you.

So instead, he loosens his grip. And he sighs.

โ€œAl and I have a new lead on my research.But thereโ€™s another reason they want me out there.โ€ He mumbles, eyes avoiding yours. He keeps his response short like he doesnโ€™t want prying ears to find out the exact truth behind his words. Like he doesnโ€™t wantyourears to find out the truth behind whatโ€™s left unsaid. The challenges that heโ€™ll face. The dangers heโ€™ll witness. And youhateit. โ€œRecent orders, Iโ€™m sorry. I only found out today.โ€

You shoot him a look as you let your arms fall from his shoulders to halfway down his arms. Now itโ€™s your turn to sigh. โ€œEd-โ€ You start to chastise him, but heโ€™s quick to cut you off with something new.

โ€œScar is going to be there.โ€ He tells you. His tone is even but thereโ€™s a bite in those golden eyes of his. Asnarl. You can see it even though he refuses to look you in the eyes. You can see it because you know him too well not to.โ€œ And Mustang wants me gone by tomorrow morning.โ€

You take a deep breath. And then another one. Ed is finally looking at you now. Reading your expressions as best as he can. And just like you know him too well, he knows exactly what frustration looks like upon your lips. But even the feeling of him reaching up and taking a strand of your pretty white hair and curling it around his finger like youโ€™re the most precious thing in the world does little to stop the fears and ideas that fight for attention in your head.

โ€œWhere are you going?โ€ You ask quietly. The fear of knowing the type of situations his job puts him in has your throat going tight with worrying. But you donโ€™t ever want something like fear to stop you from loving him. Because he never let it stop him too. โ€œMaybe I could go to the station now and buy a ticket. I still have a bag packed from when you-โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re not going.โ€ A flat-out rejection. Denial of the century. Edโ€™s books and research journals have long since been abandoned in favor of putting all his attention on you and telling you that youcanโ€™tcome with him. No matter how much you want to. No matter how hard you try. โ€œItโ€™s too dangerous.โ€

But youโ€™re not the type to take it sitting down.

โ€œItโ€™snottoo dangerous, Ed. Scarwouldnโ€™thurt me You know he wouldnโ€™t.โ€ You respond back, facing your boyfriend straight on with a determined frown of your own. His lips are set in a straight line as you challenge him head-on. But the memories of the last time you were present when Scar was in town are evidence enough that you donโ€™t have to worry about him, even if you arenโ€™t the best fighter. Besides, you arenโ€™t totally helpless. And you know youโ€™ve been a great help to him and his brother along their journey more than they can count. โ€œSo you donโ€™t have to leave me here like Iโ€™m just some-โ€

โ€œIโ€™mnotafraid of him hurting you.โ€

His words bite in quick and hard andfastas he cuts you off. Thereโ€™s a certain type of sternness in his voice. A sound that isnโ€™t unfamiliar. But a sound you donโ€™t love when itโ€™s turned on to you. When you look into his eyes, theyโ€™re all set ablaze once more, his own sense of frustration settling in at your stubborn nature. But now his jaw is clenched and the grip on your waist and returning with full force. Youโ€™re glad itโ€™s not the automail hand this time though. Not because youโ€™re afraid of getting hurt. But because youโ€™re afraid if he holds you with that hand hard enough, you really wonโ€™t be able to chase after him- no matter how hard you try.

โ€œIโ€™m not afraid of him hurting you.โ€ He tells you again, as his words didnโ€™t have the effect he wanted them to have the first time around. But this body of his relaxes and he sighs for the umpteenth time today. His grip loosens, his shoulders slump, and he lets his head fall and fall and fall forward until suddenly thereโ€™s warm skin and silky, long blonde hair brushing up against your forehead. He closes his eyes and he breathes you in. Your arms circle his shoulders once more as you tug him a little closer and you breathe him in too. Your eyes closed and your mood has significantly calmed down before the next time you hear him speak. โ€œIโ€™m afraid of what others may do to you when they see that youโ€™re Ishvalan too.โ€

Outwardly, you shiver at those words. But on the inside, youโ€™re cowering at them. Itโ€™s a very real fear to have. One that is all too real, even. And you know, because you have it too. Because there are days when people are brave enough to cast judgment upon you because of the color of your eyes in front of Ed.

So there must certainly be days when people will do more than just use your words without the Fullmetal Alchemist by your side.

โ€œIโ€™m sorry, but thatโ€™s one risk Iโ€™m not willing to take. Not while Iโ€™m so far away from you.โ€ He speaks again, but youโ€™re holding him close and holding tight now because youโ€™re already halfway toward forgiving already. Though that does little to stop him from turning his head and pressing his lips to your cheek over and over again. As if that will make things better. As if it will make your worries and your fears go away. โ€œMajor Armstrong was assigned to be your escort while Iโ€™m gone. Heโ€™ll take care of you. Youโ€™ll be okay.โ€

But will he?

โ€œEdโ€ฆโ€ You murmur softly. Those hands of his are keeping you rooted to his lap. Those hands of his are making you promise that you wonโ€™t do anything crazy or reckless while heโ€™s not around. And those hands of his are running themselves up and down your sides as he wants to try to memorize the shape of your body against yours one more time. Warm on a cold day. Cold on a hot day. For good measure, he uses both. โ€œI donโ€™t want you to goโ€ฆโ€

โ€œI know, I know.โ€

But you donโ€™t want to be in his arms unless you know heโ€™ll be safe the moment he leaves yours too.

โ€œ...I donโ€™t want to leave you either.โ€

However impossible that may be.

#fmab fanfiction | manias-wordcount (2024)
Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Aracelis Kilback

Last Updated:

Views: 5917

Rating: 4.3 / 5 (64 voted)

Reviews: 87% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Aracelis Kilback

Birthday: 1994-11-22

Address: Apt. 895 30151 Green Plain, Lake Mariela, RI 98141

Phone: +5992291857476

Job: Legal Officer

Hobby: LARPing, role-playing games, Slacklining, Reading, Inline skating, Brazilian jiu-jitsu, Dance

Introduction: My name is Aracelis Kilback, I am a nice, gentle, agreeable, joyous, attractive, combative, gifted person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.